skillzzzzzzzzzzzzz

there is a certain feeling of accomplishment that comes from doing a job well. like when you have had to use all your critical thinking skills, maybe caught something about a patient that was a little bit off that ended up making a difference or saving a life. or making a connection with a family member having a hard time letting go of grandma or grandpa. or running all night transfusing units of blood trying to stay ahead of a bleed, and successfully 'reminding' the physician to order lasix in between units of PRBC's. sometimes the night is such a high i have a hard time winding down in the car on the way home. not a high like.....a good high sometimes, like you just finished a great endorphin-releasing run or a really amped up concert. but more like you just fought a good fight....or, i dunno, it's hard to explain.
on the other hand, i hate the nights when i get my ass handed to me. when your A game just isn't there and you miss stuff......as exhilarating as it can be to Find the Big Thing or Prevent the Tragic Mistake, that's equally how bad it can suck to MISS the Thing that Kills Your Patient. for the record, i haven't yet Missed the Thing that Kills my patient, but i've def come close a few times. what i have done a few times is not Miss the Thing that Kills my patient, but had my patient die or end badly anyway. that sucks. i'm not sure what this piece has to do with skills, (i think i had a different post in mind when i started), but there you go.