the two people in the world that will love you the most are your mom and your spouse. the one because she carried you in her body, sacrificed herself for you, and birthed you. the other because it was a choice.
there is an implied contract when you join your life to someone else's, whether it is merely implied, for legal reasons only, or just between the two of you. the heart of this contract is love, which, among many things, is a decision. i decide to love you and you decide to love me, and we'll stick to it and each other through thick and thin and poorer and nursing school (poorest), and thick and sickness and health.
moms (okay, most moms) have no choice. you are born, they love you. mostly. hopefully.
spouses? that is as sacred because it represents a choice.
so when a person breaks that contract with one of the two people in this life who will love you the most, should it matter?
i say it does.
well, what i do in my private time is my own thing.
yeah, but.......if you can't keep your word to your spouse, why should i trust you? huh, Doctor Boinks-the-RT's?
i bring this up not to rag on anybody or be judgmental (i mostly manage to keep my phobias safely locked up in my little head), but because it is one of my biggest fears.
a relationship is a 50-50 thing when it comes to deciding to stay and be together. if one person decides that they're just not in it anymore, the other person in powerless to increase the amount that they put in to change that. the desire to stay together has to be equal. so....i don't like watching movies where there is adultery involved. that scares me more than anything. anything.
and, it sorta bums me out when i hear of people at work that well, you know, play around. if there is one place that can't keep a secret, it's a hospital.
there is this one former charge nurse, we'll call him Don Juan, who had a little something-something on the side, once upon a time. he'd disappear for HOURS at a time, (leaving his charge nurse phone with the secretary, imagine that) and come back with wrinkled clothes and hair all........jml. you know, just-made-love. although calling it that denigrates what i believe to be the true definition of love.
anyway, Don Juan would come back from his......trysts, and everybody knew what & who he was ......occupying himself with, and just sorta let it slide.
on the plus side, when he got back, he'd feel so guilty that he'd draw everybody's labs. funny how refreshed he'd be.........
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3 comments:
Very well said.
It matters.
I love the part about the 50/50. So speaks into my life right now.
I know this was written a while back, but I just found your blog today. I really needed to read this. Thank-you for confirming that there are still real men out there who take relationships/marriage seriously. It gives me hope to find one someday as my fiance, who I had been with for 6 years and engaged to a year and half, walked out on me recently because he was too scared to actually take the next step and get married. Apologies if that was tmi, but it just made me feel really happy to read what you wrote and know that all hope is not lost...that there are still real men out there.
sooper bummer man. hang in there. thanks for reading.
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