Pressure

you know that billy joel song, pressure? yeah, that's kinda what it's like.

i am a fairly new nurse, and was surprised that i could be hired to as important an area as critical care right off the bat. i'm still suprised, and wonder at my luck every time i clock in, right about the time i am finishing my, 'let's not kill any of my patients today, please dear God help me' prayer. and cleaning out the throw-up in my mouth. maybe someday i'll get used to this. maybe not.

i feel like every shift is a battle, and the enemy is death. death from CHF, PE's, diabetes (or, the 'sugah's' as i like to call it), old age, accidents, etcetera.

on my second day of orientation, i made the stupid mistake of asking my orienting nurse how often we had codes. right. twenty minutes later, guess who was doing compressions? right, i was. and did again on my next shift. and again on my next shift. first 4 days of working, 3 codes. NOT my patients, but still.

also, in related news, doing chest compressions on a 600 pound plus patient, without a backboard (cuz pt was too heavy to emergently move to place one under said pt), at sort of an angle because this patient's body was round.......less effective.

also, breaking ribs loose while doing chest compressions on old lady chest......weird.